My kids have finally driven me crazy. It wasn’t the baby thing or the teenage thing. They’ll be 23 and 21 this summer.
It was them becoming shockingly, mouth-droppingly inspiring human beings that did me in.
My daughter is in China for 5 weeks of adventure. Because she can, she says. She’s taking a break from a master’s degree. The most important thing in doing this degree, she tells me, is making sure that it remains her own adventure every single day. She refuses to do any part of it because of anyone else’s expectations or hopes.
Her self-assuredness takes my breath away.
My son has always wanted to be an actor. Two years ago, he quit one theatre program 5 months in, knowing it was absolutely wrong for him. It was a tough time.
What he did know was that he loved living in Toronto and loved acting. So he got his own apartment, waited tables, and acted anywhere he could.
Something like a year later, he cleared his thousandth table and thought, I don’t want to be a waiter for the rest of my life.
He applied to the best theatre school in Canada, auditioned along with 400 others for 12 spots, and got in. We screamed for minutes on the phone when he heard the news.
I am happier than a whirling dervish for them both.
They make me horribly aware that there are places in my life where I have not aimed high enough. Where I have not taken huge chances to pursue the things I want most. I don’t know that I’ve ever SAID all the things I want most, even to myself, for god’s sake, for fear of failing while looking like an idiot.
I could tear my skin off, this makes me so crazy.
I’ve decided to change some big things. By being more honest about what I want to do and what I no longer want to do. I am going to make this my own adventure.
And I’m scared. I thought it was our job to inspire them, not the other way ’round.
My daughter’s last words before leaving for China were, be bwave, mum. Be bwave.
Tell me. If you were any bwaver, would your life change in any way?
I’d love to hear.
Thanks for the conversation,