We popped my lovely man’s eye in this morning. Jesus Murphy.
To be accurate, he had his bionic eye (orbital implant) sewn in some weeks ago. That part (we call the whole thing Seymour, now) is a small, maroon, slightly unnerving bowling ball.
The part we popped in just now was the very large, vaguely triangular contact lens that makes his eye look like an eye. It has the iris, pupil, and the white sclera on it. The artwork.
Jeez, I was a bit nervous. The idea was to pluck out the conformer (a clear contact lens) with a suction cup and then, hoping I had the right side up, put the eyeball-cap-thing in. We couldn’t remember whether he was supposed to look up or down for each step. Someone taught us a week ago in Toronto, but it’s gone this morning.
We washed our hands and everything else we could think of, as though we were going to do brain surgery on each other. Pat sat in a chair and asked if I was ready. I was not. I lied in order to give him confidence. He asked whether he should look up or down. I picked one (don’t remember which), and approached him with the eyeball-cap-thing.
Shouldn’t we take the conformer thing out first, he asked?
Of course, I said. I was just … practicing.
From there, with some fumbling (I dropped the eyeball-cap-thing on my second try), and much twitching and fluttering of his eyelids, poor guy, we made the switch.
For the last five minutes, he’s had two blue eyes. You can’t imagine how weird it is to have two eyes until you’ve been through a trip like this. It’s all I can do not to cry when I see anyone’s eyes, these days, thinking of how amazing it is that so many of our parts work so well, and how fortunate it is that we’re given doubles of so many parts: eyes, ears, hands, knees, kidneys, ovaries. We’re warehouses, for god’s sake.
Aside from an elevated heart rate, and enormous love for my (one-eyed? two-eyed?) man, all I feel is this THANKS, THANKS, THANKS booming in my head. Thanks for eyes, one or two, thanks for our resilience, thanks for being here at all. Thanks for love.
Thank you for the conversation,