The Third Shanti

Posted on June 28, 2011 by Kristin Shepherd

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We’ve been chatting about the ending
of some practices, during which we chant shanti, shanti, shanti. The
first shanti is to beam internal healing or some kind of wonderful
intention for ourselves. The second shanti is to send some
peaceful, healing energy to someone else.

The third shanti opens up such a whack
of troubles for me that I’m reluctant to begin this conversation.

The third shanti is meant to send peace
or healing intent to the world, if I’ve got it right.

That’s sweet. Here are my struggles
with it:

  1. The reality is that if I mention
    God, gay marriage, abortion, Palestinian-Israeli conflict, should we
    be killing people for peace in Iraq or Afghanistan, or should we
    have killed Osama bin Laden, just for starters, there’ll be no
    peace even among this peaceful yoga crowd. I wonder if we are egos
    who want peace as-long-as. As in, peace as long as I get what I want, peace
    as long as I feel safe. Peace as long as the world doesn’t change
    too much for me. Peace as long as you don’t rock my decisions
    about what’s right and wrong. Which leads me to …

  2. I wonder if the trip to genuine
    peace for many of us would involve a whole lot of shaking up that
    might not feel peaceful at all. Is that what we want?

  3. Sometimes I don’t even like the
    word “peace.” “Keep the peace” sounds like restraint of
    intent and expression. Perhaps this comes from growing up with five
    siblings and two strict parents. Perhaps it comes from feeling that
    a good life depends upon speaking your heart and mind without
    reservation, without worrying about making waves.

  4. On the other hand, the deep,
    profound contentment and joy I find during the meditation part of my
    practice is also “peace.” I love this version of the word.

As one mucked up human being, I am
incapable of figuring this out, of discerning the difference between
what is true and what is my own resistance in all of this. And for
Pete’s sake, there isn’t time to figure all of this out when
we’re chanting shanti, shanti, shanti at the end of a class.

What it means, in practice, is that on
that third shanti I stay away from peace. Instead I do my best to
open my heart and offer love as I know it to the planet. “Love” is a
word I trust. It doesn’t carry the ambivalence and unanswered
questions that peace does for me.

You’re wiser than I am. I know it.
I look forward to hearing what “peace to the planet” means to
you.

Thanks to yoga for encouraging us to
find our way toward all the good words. Thanks to you for the
conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

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Shanti Outward

Posted on June 24, 2011 by Kristin Shepherd

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Thanks for all your beautiful responses
for first-person shanti. I trust that the combination of our collective beaming
and your willingness to speak your wishes out loud will manifest
surprising things.

So. Our second shanti at the end of
class is meant to beam something healing and wonderful to someone who
needs it.

My list includes the following:

  1. I send huge LOVE to my lovely man,
    who had an eye removed this year because of a tumor. We’re going back for our first checkup in August. He doesn’t love hospitals. I send
    his body and heart love every single time I practice.

  2. I send huge LOVE to my kids, who
    don’t seem to need a thing, but I love the moments spent with them.

  3. I send love to my parents, who are slowly  approaching their exit from this life. I wish them wonderful time
    here and a peaceful transition.

  4. Occasionally I send love to my
    ex-husband. I have a vague sense that somewhere in the cosmos we’re
    connected to each other forever. I’m also extremely grateful for
    the sperm-and-egg thing we did together. Twice.

  5. This morning I’ll send love to
    whoever needs a bit of love: the frantic woman I met on the trails
    behind our house whose dog disappeared over the weekend, the striking
    postal workers, the folks who want mail (including yoga DVDs) delivered, the friend who’s at a funeral today, the friend who’s
    struggling with depression. You need love, I’ve got heaps of it at the end
    of my practice.

That’s my list. Who do you send
something to at the end of your practice?

Thanks to yoga for reminding me that
love is too big to keep to myself, and for giving us the opportunity
to put love to use at the end of each practice. Thanks to you for the
conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

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Naked First-Person Shantis

Posted on June 21, 2011 by Kristin Shepherd

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At the end of one of my classes, we
chant shanti, shanti, shanti. Three times. The first is to beam
something wonderful and healing for ourselves. The second is to beam
something wonderful to someone else. The third is to send peace to
the planet.

My goal this week is to share a bit of
that first one, our wishes for ourselves. I figure we can name them,
and then collectively beam them for each other. If yours are
private, just type in @#@#@, and we’ll beam that your private wish
comes true.

Okay. My yoga wishes for myself:

  1. I’d like a good body out of
    this. I want good legs, a good bum, strong shoulders and abs, and
    one of those ultra-peaceful foreheads you see on the yoga models.
    I’d like to be one of those yoginis who looks 47 years younger
    than she is. That means I’d look like a two-year-old, but I’m
    okay with that.

  2. Because my shallow vanity is exhausting, I’d like to care less about
    everything in #1.

  3. I’d like to remember to be
    grateful for my excellent health.

  4. I’d like to feel as intoxicated
    by the rest of the day as I do during my practice.

  5. I’d like my trip toward a
    peaceful mind to be faster.

  6. I’d like to become patient if #5
    doesn’t happen soon.

  7. I’d like learn to take excellent
    care of myself consistently, and not in spurts which only partially make up for the times I’m drawn to salt and sugar like a bloodsucker to an open aorta .

  8. I’d like to be a walking,
    talking, shining advertisement for the benefits of yoga.

  9. I’d love to lean so selflessly into
    capital-L Love that you couldn’t look my way without seeing yourself as the Love you are.(This is a perilously loose paraphrasing of Meister
    Eckhart.) This is the one I care about the most. It’s possible that it is least likely to occur while I give a fig about the others. What can I say. I am a work in progress.

Those are my naked first-person
shantis. I’d love to hear yours. Next time we’ll do our wishes
for another.

Thanks to yoga for making me aware of
who I am, from the tawdry surface to the tenderhearted interior.

Thanks to you, always, for the
conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

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Kundalini for Newbies

Posted on June 16, 2011 by Kristin Shepherd

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A good number of people wrote this week
to ask about Kundalini Yoga.

For those of you who aren’t
interested, hang in, and I’ll do my best to return to wonderful
thoughts on all things yoga next week, despite my Kundalini delirium,
from which I hope never to recover.

For those of you who do want a bit more
Kundalini Yoga, here we go.

Kundalini is an energy form said to contain the feminine potential (shakti) stored in the first chakra, at the base of the spine. The idea behind Kundalini Yoga–a mental, physical, and spiritual discipline–is to awaken that
energy, help it whoosh up through our spines, and somehow connect us
with the energy of the gods/Love/Grand Poobah/Universal Truth,
whatever your name is for the best of everything in the universe.

Kundalini Yoga uses kriyas, or specific series of exercises,
along with meditations throughout the practice, some chanting, and pranayama, including the intoxicating and detoxifying Breath of Fire.

All yoga will eventually arouse kundalini. But practitioners of Kundalini Yoga believe that this practice shifts that energy directly and quickly.

When you Google Kundalini Yoga, you’ll
read words like mystical, creativity, spirit, as well as power,
aerobic, and gentle. It’s no wonder we’re confused.

Here’s what I’ve noticed after
about two weeks of immersion:

  1. A definite buzz in my third eye
    after practice. That’s the sixth chakra. It feels delicious.

  2. A persistent warmth, rather than a
    buzz, in my neck and in my chest and upper back. Fifth and fourth
    chakras.

  3. A fluttery thrill just below my
    navel. Feel a bit sexy. I like this.

  4. The enormous attention paid to
    core work is changing the way I stand and the way I move.
    Bizarrely, it is changing the way I feel about myself. I feel
    powerful.

  5. The movements are rhythmic. It
    feels like dance, which satisfies a desire for physical creativity.

  6. Some of it is killer hard. I was
    ready for that.

That’s it for now. Apologies to the
experienced Kundalini yogis out there who may be cringing at my
introduction. Please feel free to send in corrections and whatever
crucial information I’ve left out.

On the other hand, if any of this
tickles that spot below your navel, give it a try. You might fall in
love.

Thanks to yoga for being varied enough
for all of us. Thanks to you for the conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

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Kundalini Crush

Posted on June 14, 2011 by Kristin Shepherd

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I’ve got a bad, bad case of Kundalini Crush. There’s no pride in saying this. I haven’t said
much about my last crush, on Javier Bardem, for example, even though
he is the best actor in the WORLD, because it sounds, well, a bit
trashy to have crushes when you’re older than 13.

Whether or not you admit it, though,
people catch on when the only movies you rent feature Javier Bardem,
you compare all men’s eyes to his (unfavorably), and all you can
talk about is the incredible depth of feeling in his incredible face.
(The overuse of superlatives is the number one sign you’ve gone
over the crush cliff.)

So, too, do you give yourself away when you convince your fellow actors that breath of fire is the best stage warm-up ever, when you stare
up at your own eyebrows, when
you start thinking you’d look fabulous in a white turban.

I’ve got it bad, and there’s not a
thing I can do about it except to ride it out. I’ll try not to
recruit you. I’ll try to respect that you may love your own yoga
to the same depth and breadth my soul can reach with Kundalini.
(Lapsing into Shakespeare is another sign you’ve gone over the
cliff.) You, for all I know, may think that Jean-Claude Van Damme is
the finest actor in the world. You may have your own yoga crush.

Truth is I’m only a week or so
into it. Perhaps I’ll have some perspective down the line. Or not.

Has this happened to you on your yoga
path? Have you ever jumped into a new form of yoga, one that knocks your socks off?

I’d love to hear.

Thanks to Kundalini yoga for being
AMAZING, brilliant, the best of the best. Of the very instant that I
saw you, did my heart fly at your service. Sorry. Shakespeare.

Thanks to Julie and Kelly, in the photo above, for giving breath of fire a whirl right before going on stage. Thanks to yoga, and to the fact that we love to fall in love.

Thanks to you, always, for the conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

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Everything I Need to Know

Posted on June 13, 2011 by kristinshepherd

I’ve just returned from acting and directing at a theatre festival. Wish you’d been with us.

Here’s what came up.

1. We think healthy and not-so-healthy thoughts, we feel healthy and not-so-healthy feelings. I do better when i welcome both, and let both go.

2. The crowd may love me, the crowd may not. There’s no point in getting too bent out of shape by either of those.

3. There is nothing as good as sinking into right here, right now. Best thing about being an actor, as far as I know.

4. I’m human. Some days that pisses me off, but it’s the truth.

5. Celebrate everyone’s work, their efforts, their willingness to be here and open, and their limitations. If I’m lucky, they’ll be as generous with me when i need it.

6. What I know about myself matters more than what anyone else thinks, as long as what I know about myself has to do with being gifted, loving, and loved.

7. Javier Bardem is the best actor in the world. This has nothing to do with the weekend, but I’m in the middle of a crush, and am proud I resisted mentioning him in the first line.

8. Love wins. Loving myself. Loving the people who are easy to love. Loving the people who drive me mad. Loving my work and play. Loving whatever is in front of my face right now.

9. Whatever I need to know is right in front of me. Every time.

Hope you’re having a wonderful day.

Thanks for the conversation,

kristin

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Classes in My Basement

Posted on June 9, 2011 by Kristin Shepherd

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Yoga exists on the other side of the known universe from television. That’s my opinionated opinion.

Or was. Yesterday’s mail changed that. I received my first three yoga DVDs, the ones I ordered after my introduction to Kundalini yoga. There are no Kundalini classes in my town, so I did what anyone would do: I went to Amazon, read four billion reviews, and ordered a few DVDs.

My practice has been in classes, mostly Ashtanga or Hatha, or on my own in my living room. What a departure to head to my lovely man’s yoga room in the basement this morning and pop my Kundalini teacher into the DVD player! Music! Encouragement! New moves! New teachers! New approach to yoga!

I loved it.

Will it replace classes for me? Not a chance. I’ve just recently been inspired once more to go back to classes.

Will it replace silent solo practice? I don’t think so. Silence is good. So is calling my own asanas.

I do foresee an immediate binge, though, of DVD Kundalini classes in the basement. (As binges go, one could do much worse.)

I’m curious. Do you do yoga by DVD? Do you have favourite DVDs? I’d love to hear.

Thanks to the yoga DVD industry for taking good excellent care of so many people at home. Thanks to the Raviana Kundalini videos in my basement (they are a blast) and thanks to you for the conversation,

kristin

Dr. Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web, on Facebook, on Twitter, and on iTunes.

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Beyond Science

Posted on June 7, 2011 by Kristin Shepherd

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My daughter’s master’s thesis has
to do with the effect of yoga on heat shock proteins, if I understand
her correctly.

What it means is that she cycles across
Windsor, Ontario, every morning with a portable centrifuge in her
backpack, and a basket filled with other science-y tools. She calls
herself The Hobo Scientist. She cycles to a 6am Ashtanga yoga class
where she takes blood samples, skin temperature readings, etc., from
her participants half-way through each class.

Then Kali cycles back to school where
she inputs her data and does the rest of her school work. She
repeats her morning routine for a 6pm hot yoga class.

Her participants, reportedly a wildly
enthusiastic and formerly inactive bunch, are doing three classes per
week for the eight-week trial. Everyone expects amazing results. I’ll
keep you posted.

The yoga teachers involved in the study
prefer that Kali participates in the classes rather than sitting on
the sidelines, staring. (Talk about creating nervousness on the mat!)
In the interest of science, then, Kali has flung herself into an
intense yoga life.

Here’s the bit I love. Kali is a
fabulous athlete. Always has been. She runs, swims, cycles, and
plays basketball, volleyball, and extreme Frisbee with a kind of
bring-it-on ferocious joy. If you ever, ever find yourself in need of
a cheerleader/coach, Kali is your woman.

It turns out she’s humbled by yoga.
“It’s HARD,” she said yesterday. “I’m working really,
really hard.”

She mentions two goals at this point.
The first is to have her heels touch the floor in Downward Dog by the
time she finishes her master’s degree. They’re nowhere near the
floor at this point, she says.

The second goal is to figure out why
she begins to cry every time they do hip openers.

On Skype yesterday she was radiant. I
felt proud of her (this is the norm) and proud of yoga (this is
bizarre). Some great shift happened in the universe when Kali and
yoga got together.

It’s one thing to love yoga myself.
It’s another to see the same thing happen to my kid. Have you
experienced that?

Thanks to Kali, my beautiful, brave,
radiant daughter for taking on yoga. Thanks to yoga for taking Kali
on. And thanks to you for the conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

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Yoga and Energy Management

Posted on June 2, 2011 by Kristin Shepherd

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Oh, I adore yoga today.

Over a 20-year career in health
care practice, you can’t help but see that health care, indeed life
care, has everything to do with management of energy.

Some people have a strong sense of
their own power. They’re generally unafraid of their bodies, other
people, and life events. They trust. They’re the optimists, the
resilient ones who know that even when things look bad, they’re
headed in a great direction. They act out of confident joy. They are
motivated by fun, happiness, feeling good. (“It makes me feel
fantastic,” they say about traveling, about new careers, about
highland dancing, photography, about going back to school.)

At the other end of the spectrum are
those who are afraid of life, of their own bodies, of viruses and
bacteria (“Of course I’ll get that cold, I get all the colds”),
of the unknown, of scarcity, of the future. They don’t trust–they suffer. They act out of fear. Their choices are based on just-in-case scenarios and preventing bad
things from happening. They’re all about anti-cancer, anti-poverty, anti-aging,
anti-heart disease (“My mother had it, my father had it, my
brother’s going to get it, he eats so badly, god, I might as get on
the transplant list now.”), and on and on.

Some days we’re at one end of this
scale, and some days at the other.

We also manage our energy differently
in different areas of life. Think of finances, parenting, work,
death, career choices, sports. Think of your mother, your ex, your taxes. Think about going back to yoga class.

This is a huge subject, worth far more
than a wee blog, and my intention is not to trivialize.

I raise it to say this:

I love that every morning brings us the
chance to find out where we are in terms of managing our energy, and
the opportunity to make a new choice.

On those days when the monkey mind,
before I have even opened my groggy eyes, is chatting about
stiffness, getting older, and what I can’t do, I remember this
difference between fear and joy, and that’s enough to stop my
nonsense.

Most days it’s enough to snap me
into joy so that by the time my gnarly feet reach the mat, I’m
managing my energy in a way that takes good care of my body and of
the rest of my life.

I’ll bet anything we were born to learn to manage our energy through love and joy, and to leave fear behind.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks to morning yoga for teaching me
about choice, and thanks to you for the conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

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Nervousness on the Mat

Posted on May 31, 2011 by Kristin Shepherd

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On the phone this morning, I mentioned
to my sister that I’m often anxious about going to new yoga
studios. Truth be told, I’m nervous going back to my home studio
whenever I’ve been away for a bit.

“So what?” said my sister, “I’m
afraid before every class.”

I called her back just now to ask about
that, and we chatted for 30 minutes about when and why
nervousness is a part of yoga life for both of us.

I don’t hear much from yogaland about
this. You write, mostly, saying you’re more comfortable on your
mats in yoga class than anywhere else.

That isn’t true for me. I’m most
comfortable on my mat at home. I’d stay there forever if my
practice didn’t skew over time into 48 Sun Salutations followed by
bits and pieces of favorite and not-too-challenging asanas. In fact,
I’d be content with that happy skew if my low back, hips, knees, and general spirit weren’t so vocal in wanting more.

Are you nervous about class, ever?

I feel it when I contemplate going. I
feel it as I drive to class. I feel it as I roll out my mat and as
the others roll out mats around me. The second class begins, the
tense gut disappears. I’m in love again.

My sister suspects her fear comes from
competitiveness (she should be levitating in full lotus by now, she
says) and a feeling that she must outperform herself each time, that
it isn’t enough to just show up and do what her body would like.
Some days her body doesn’t want to do much.

My discomfort involves a judgment about
my body, my sturdiness, about looking like a pudgy 13-year-old, something i was hoping to have moved beyond by the age of 49.  It’s a wish to be somewhere other than here and now.  I see the ridiculousness of it, but it doesn’t stop the discomfort.

This week I’m grateful for looking at
this clenched gut. It isn’t new, it’s just been hiding somewhere
while I practiced at home all winter.

Can you identify? No? I’d love to
hear, either way.

Thanks to yoga (I think) for sticking
with me while I run from and return to all these bits of self.
Thanks to you for the conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

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