dr. kristin shepherd

Backbends and I have not had an easy relationship.
In Bow pose, my knees are unhappy, my
back unbending. In Camel … well, there is no “in Camel” for me.
I can lean back while on my knees, but my heels might as well be on
the east coast of Africa, they’re so far from my hopeful, flailing
hands.

And Wheel? I can raise myself from the
floor for five seconds, tops, at which point everything, my hips, my
left shoulder and ramrod spine lock up like it’s closing time at the local prison.

It isn’t just physical, either. As
soon as I arch my low back beyond its completely controlled range of
about four degrees, a panic begins, a defense mechanism that KNOWS
I’m safer closed than open, safer with the few things I know well
than with the million new things I might be stupidly bad at, safer saying
no than yes.

You know what they say: The way you do
your practice is the way you do everything, and
closed/no-chance/safety-first has been a default stance all my life.

It’s time for a change.

What has happened sometime over the
last two years of practice is that my hard “no way, no how” has
become a softer “what if?”

At first encounter with a difficult
pose, I can’t even think through it. Can’t visualize myself in
the same room with it.

Over time, resistance softens and my imagination begins to wrap itself around the pose, until I hear myself thinking, “Some day, some day I’ll get there.” That’s where I am with Camel, now.
This alone is a huge victory.

For the rest of the summer, I’m going to include backbends every
day. “Independence from my old resistance” is my summer mantra.

Is there a pose or a part of practice
that challenges you in the same way? Have you made breakthroughs?
I’d love to hear.

Thanks to yoga for teaching me that
challenges don’t end until I do.

Thanks to you for the conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

“Darling, the legs aren’t so
beautiful, I just know what to do with them.” –Marlene Dietrich

Who knows whether it’s Kundalini
yoga or the fact I’ve been back into yoga for almost two years.
(Maybe it’s affected by summer, menopause, too many
eclipses this year. Who knows with these things?)

Boat Pose does it. Chaturanga does it.
Kundalini Frog does it. Lion Pose. Breath of Fire with any pose does
it.

Whatever it is,  my practice is generating
a kind of Marlene Dietrich, don’t-mess-with-me-honey energy that
rocks my little mat.

This week my lovely man met me on the
stairs after my practice and suggested we do something lovely and
romantic together. He may have tilted his head toward our room and lifted his eyebrows encouragingly, but he was also distracted by what looked like a receipt or something in his hand. With a formerly uncharacteristic blast of power from my chest and abdomen, I said, “Oh,
honey, I like your offer, but I think you can do a lot better than that for this goddess.” 

Channeling Marlene. It manifests in more direct eye
contact, a greater certainty about what I want and don’t want, and a delicious sense of power in my relationship to life in this universe. It smokes. (So did Marlene, in almost every existing photograph. Poor lungs.)

We talk often about yoga’s value in
calming us, in exploring peace and even tempers, in helping us relax into deep sleep
at night.

I’m curious about what you’ve
experienced on the other side, on the side of increased power and gutsy
fire through yoga. I’ll bet you have stories to tell, and poses that do it for you.

“Courage and grace are a formidable
mixture.” That’s Marlene. She thought the combination only
occurred in bullrings.

You shoulda tried yoga, honey.

Thanks to yoga for turning on the
power.

Thanks to you for the conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.

At the end of one of my classes, we
chant shanti, shanti, shanti. Three times. The first is to beam
something wonderful and healing for ourselves. The second is to beam
something wonderful to someone else. The third is to send peace to
the planet.

My goal this week is to share a bit of
that first one, our wishes for ourselves. I figure we can name them,
and then collectively beam them for each other. If yours are
private, just type in @#@#@, and we’ll beam that your private wish
comes true.

Okay. My yoga wishes for myself:

1. I’d like a good body out of
   this. I want good legs, a good bum, strong shoulders and abs, and
   one of those ultra-peaceful foreheads you see on the yoga models.
   I’d like to be one of those yoginis who looks 47 years younger
   than she is. That means I’d look like a two-year-old, but I’m
   okay with that.

2. Because my shallow vanity is exhausting, I’d like to care less about
   everything in #1.

3. I’d like to remember to be
   grateful for my excellent health.

4. I’d like to feel as intoxicated
   by the rest of the day as I do during my practice.

5. I’d like my trip toward a
   peaceful mind to be faster.

6. I’d like to become patient if #5
   doesn’t happen soon.

7. I’d like learn to take excellent
   care of myself consistently, and not in spurts which only partially make up for the times I’m drawn to salt and sugar like a bloodsucker to an open aorta .

8. I’d like to be a walking,
   talking, shining advertisement for the benefits of yoga.

9. I’d love to lean so selflessly into
   capital-L Love that you couldn’t look my way without seeing yourself as the Love you are.(This is a perilously loose paraphrasing of Meister
   Eckhart.) This is the one I care about the most. It’s possible that it is least likely to occur while I give a fig about the others. What can I say. I am a work in progress.

Those are my naked first-person
shantis. I’d love to hear yours. Next time we’ll do our wishes
for another.

Thanks to yoga for making me aware of
who I am, from the tawdry surface to the tenderhearted interior.

Thanks to you, always, for the
conversation,

kristin

Dr.
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All
Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web,
on Facebook,
on Twitter,
and on iTunes.